”You know how Sherlock Holmes always says…” //
”I am a consulting detective.” //
”Yes, well, I – ” //
”Excuse me.” //
Hi Kati, we saw this butterfly in Croatia. What do you think it is? //
”Oh, it is…” //
”Okay.” //
”Hello?” ”There’s a great tit in our coffee room, what should we do?” ”Do this…” //
Hi! I’m in a company party and we’re arguing whether a bunny and a hare are the same thing. Or are they different species but same animal? //
”Well now…” //
”Yes, so, as I was saying…” //
”I am a consulting biologist.”

The consulting detective created by sir Arthur Conan Doyle

On se vaikeaa

”Things that people often have difficulties with…” //
Understanding instruction signs. ”Let’s go here!” ”Yes!” (One way) //
Understanding ban signs. ”Let’s go here!” ”Yes!” (Wrong way) //
Understanding time tables. ”When are you going to feed the tigers?” ”The cats were fed at half past twelve, and today the species was the snow leopard.” //
”But it says on that sign…” ”…that we’ll feed the snow leopard at half past twelve, yes.” (Feeding: snow leopard, 12.30) //
Understanding spoken instructions. ”That dark brown goat has been rather cranky today so let’s just leave him be.” //
”What did I just say?!” //
Forming sentences. ”Hello!” ”Hi. Buggy.” //
”…would you care to elaborate?”

”Woops.” //
”I just realised that all the comics about my summer in the zoo are rather negative. That wasn’t my intention. In reality I had really good time working in the zoo.” //
”Probably 98 per cent of the customers were very nice, too. It just doesn’t make a very good comic when someone politely asks you where the kangaroos are.” //
”Working as a zoo guide was mostly really much fun, and I’m happy to continue as a freelancer now that the summer’s over.” //
”In the zoo you also have the best co-workers! Darlings!” //
”The human co-workers are really nice as well… and they don’t eat my clothes!”

Rakentavampi ratkaisu

”Look how disgusting those boars are, wallowing in the mud like that!” //
”Actually…” //
”…pigs are very intelligent animals, even more so than dogs. Also, wallowing in mud is extremely important to them…” //
”…as mud takes good care of their skin, repels flies, takes care of mosquito bites and keeps them nice and cool on a hot summer’s day like this.” //
”So I would rather say smart than disgusting.” //

Vuohia rakastavat naiset

Jon Ronson: The Men who Stare at Goats. ”–It was apparently determined within Special Forces that it was just about impossible to form an emotional bond with a goat.–” //
”Oh Jore, you silly little pumpkin!” ”Ilona, you’re so cute!” ”I love you too, Irmeli, but please don’t eat my shirt…”

Hauska juttu on se, että luin kyseisen kirjan englanniksi, mutta tuo on teoksen oikea suomenkielinen käännös. Kävin lainaamassa suomenkielisen painoksen kirjastosta vain tuon yhden lauseen takia. Kirja muuten löytyi hyllystä imeltä ”sotataktiikat”. Mitäköhän mahtoi kirjastonhoitaja ajatella, kun kysyin hyllyn sijaintia…

Fun thing is that I read the book in English but this comic has the real Finnish translation. I went to library to borrow the Finnish version just for this one sentence. The book is by the way in the section of ”war tactics”. I wonder what the librarian thought when I asked where it was…


”Look how big that catfish is, eww yuck!”

Varmaankin kaikki tajuavat, että en a) lyönyt sitä ihmistä tai b) saanut potkuja. Mutta ihan oikeasti, elävien eläinten kutsuminen inhottaviksi, ällöttäviksi tai muutoin kuvottaviksi vain siksi, että ne ovat erikoisia tai erilaisia kuin ihmiset ja söpöpuput saa minut todella vihaiseksi. Varsinkin, jos auktoritäärisessä asemassa oleva aikuinen, kuten vanhempi, sanoo tämän lapselle. Tällä tavallahan sitä kasvatetaan elämää kunnioittamattomia ja luonnosta vieraantuneita ihmisiä! Jokainen elävä olento on hieno ja kaunis sellaisena kuin on, vaikka saattaisi olla erikoinen ja joskus pelottavakin.

I guess everyone realizes that I didn’t a) punch that person or b) get fired. But seriously, calling living animals disgusting, hideous or otherwise gross just because they are strange or different from humans and cute bunnies makes me really angry. Especially if an adult with authority, such as a parent, tells this to a child. This is exactly how people are raised to be disrespectful to living creatures and alienated from nature! Every living thing is wonderful and beautiful just as it is, as strange and sometimes scary it may be.



Miksi en näytä iloiselta poimiessani maasta riikinkukkojen pudottelemia komeita sulkia? Kahdesta syystä. Ensinnäkään, en voi viedä niitä kotiin, koska niistä voi levitä tauteja. Toisekseen siksi, että jotkut eläintarhan asiakkaat silti yrittävät mitä töykeimmillä tavoilla (kuten lahjomalla ja valehtelemalla) saada viedä niitä kotiin, ja minun tehtäväni on sanoa että ei.

Why am I not looking happy when collecting these beautiful peacock feathers? There are two reasons. Firstly, I cannot take them home as they may spread diseases. Secondly, some zoo visitors try using most foul tricks (like bribing and lying) to get to take the feathers, and it is my job to say no.



Kesätyöt eläintarhassa tunkevat nyt sarjiksiin seuraavat pari viikkoa.
My summer job in the zoo has inspired my comics for the next couple of weeks.
”Next you get to help with the feeding of the hens…” //
”Here I have mealworms that are the special favorite of the hens.” //
”Eww DISGUSTING! They’re alive!” //
”Well… You’re alive as well and I don’t say it’s disgusting.”