Ikä on vain numero

AGE IS JUST A NUMBER

On a camp: ”Kati, how old are you?” ”I’m 31.” //
”Then why do you look like you’re 20?” ”Because mentally I’m six years old.” //
”So it sort of balances it.” //
”I don’t understand.” ”Neither do I.”

Hossa 3/3: Sus’ siunatkoon!

HOSSA 3/3: A WOLF IN WOLF’S CLOTHING

”Hey, there’s some large animal over there!” //
”What is it?” ”Looks like a dog…” ”A dog? Here?” ”It couldn’t be…” ”Rana I’ll take your boots!” ”Yeah!” //
”It was a WOLF!” //
”Where to I have to be to be alone…”


”Hey guys. Our car froze.” //
”Push!” ”It won’t move.” ”We have to call the car rental company.” //
”…great, thank you. They’ll send someone to check it out.” //
”Now they’re coming!” ”They’re opening the engine bonnet!” ”They’ve got some sorta battery.. thingy.” //
”The car is working!!!”


”Our car freezing is your fault, Kati.” ”How so?” //
”Because you kept saying that this trip was going way too smoothly.” ”Indeed. And I didn’t even have to deal with the car.” //
”Yeah, because I fixed that problem!” ”I see this as an absolute win!” //
”But that was one fun trip! Now I’ve been organizing these winter trips for four years, that’s enough.” //
”I can organize the next one. But I want to have one properly in the wilderness, with a tent. And no matches!” ”Can I sign up already?”

Hossa 2/3: Lumikenkiä ja hiippailua

HOSSA 2/3: SNOWSHOES AND LURKING

Snowshoes vs. snowshoe skiis
Uphill: ”Consistently heavy.” vs. ”Aaah! Slippery!” //
Flat land: ”Consistently heavy.” vs. ”Easy and fast!” //
Downhill: ”Consistently heavy.” vs. ”Whiiiiiiaaaaaaahhhh!!!” //


”Phh! Man this is slippery!” //
”Go, Romeo! You can do it!” ”!” //
[Humming Binary Sunset by John Williams] //
[Continuing Binary Sunset] //
[The end of Binary sunset really loud!] //
”It worked!” ”Huzzah!”


”A wise person once said…” //
”’Learn from other people’s mistakes. While making fun of them making those mistakes.'” //
”…” //
”And who was it that uttered these wise words?” ”Me. Just now.” //
”… I see.”


”I think I’m gonna lurk back to my own bed to sleep now.” //
”Now there’s a fun word there. ’Lurk’.” ”Lurk.” //
”Lurk.” ”Lurk.” ”Lurk.” ”Lurk.” ”Lurk!” //
”Bwahahahahahahaha!” ”Hehehehehee!” //
”Hehehe. Phew.” ”Woah. Okay. …lurk.” //
”Hahahahaha! ”Hehehehehe!” ”?”


”Hmph. My butt is cold and I don’t have woolen pants.” //
”But I do have this other large woolen shirt…” //
”Hnngh!!!” //
”Ta-dah!” //e
”That looks really dumb.” ”Well, yeah… but could you still MacGyver approve it?” //
”Sure. It is creative and it works.” ”Yay!” //
This method is 100% MacGyver approved!


”I go work on my snow cave.” ”Are you taking that candle with you?” //
”Yes.” ”Be careful not to burn your snow cave. Haw haw.” //
”A pile of combustion product cannot burn.” ”Explain your physics, please.” //
”What is burning if not matter combining with oxygen? And water – hence, snow as well – is just hydrogen combined with oxygen.” //
”Water – even in its frozen form – is therefore a burning product that no longer can combine with oxygen. So no need to worry.” //
”Woah! Mind blown!”

Hossa 1/3: Ja taas mennään

HOSSA 1/3: HERE WE GO AGAIN

Olen ollut Hossassa talviretkellä ennenkin. Sen reissun tunnelmia täällä.
I’ve been to Hossa national park before. Comics from that trip can be found here.


”I could start organizing the winter trip again.” //
”Hmm… There’s a nice-looking cabin for eight in Hossa I could rent.” //
”Last year we had rented a cabin, too, but it still turned into a painful hike.” //
”I sometimes make mistakes… but I LEARN from them!” //
”Is the road plowed all the way?” ”Yes.” ”Are you sure now?” ”We are.” //
”Maybe I can book this place now…”


”Welcome to the pre-trip meeting.” //
”To begin, everyone could introduce and tell something about themselves.” //
”I’m Temmi. I can teach you how to light a fire with just one match.” //
”My name is Eetu, and I can teach you to light a fire without matches.” //
”I am Rana. I can teach you how to be without a fire!” //
”…do I really have to stand the three of you for a week in a small cabin?”


October: ”It’s so nice to go for a trip again at New Year’s!” //
November: ”Nooooo, there’s still so much to do! Where do I get snowshoes for everyone?” //
December: ”Everything’s almost ready! Yay, winter trip!” //
The night before leaving: ”How do I pack all of this?!?” //
”Well, it all fitted in. It’s so fun to go!” //
The morning of leaving: ”No! I don’t want to get up! I don’t want to go!” //
In the train: ”Ooh, snow! It’s bound to be so pretty there!”


Train trip: ”Going nicely. And everyone was in time!” //
Renting the car: ”Smooth.” //
The road: ”Plowed all the way!!!” //
The cabin: ”Nice and in good condition.” //
Toilet: ”It’s got a styrine seat! Our butts won’t freeze!” //
”This is suspiciously easy…”

Talviretki 3: Todellisia sankareita

WINTER TRIP 3: THE REAL HEROES

Social Media Hill = the closest place to the hut where you can access telephone network. ”Argh, no one’s answering!” //
”I guess I need to call the taxi driver. He told me to call if we run into trouble, after all.” //
”Hello?” ”Hi, it’s Kati. The road is still blocked by snow…” //
”…and the youngsters can’t walk all the way back… and I can’t contact anyone else right now… so would you happen to know whom I should call to get help?” //
”Can you make it to that parking lot? I’ll take a snowmobile along and come get you from there.” ”Really? Awesome! Thank you so much!” //
”We might be the Avengers but this taxi driver is a real hero!”


”What a nice sunset.” //
Crack! ”!” ”!” //
”We’re like wild animals, startled by every noise.” ”Yep.”


”A year ago I went to the winter trip wearing hiking shoes. It was a mistake.” //
My fell were constantly freezing so badly that it just hurt. ”Moaaaaannn!” //
”This time I willingly took skiing boots.” //
”They’ve got felt lining and three pairs of woolen socks inside.” //
”And I wasn’t cold at any point!”


”For years I wore an anorak on winter trips because of the front pocket where I could keep all things necessary at hand. Like my belt knife.” //
”But now my anorak is getting a bit old and worn out.” //
”So I bought this old satchel from a second hand store and modified it a bit.” //
Now I can wear it around my waist and put all those important little things in there.” //
”Belt knife, matches, headlamp, water bottle, snacks, map and compass… everything nicely at hand, even when carrying my backpack! This was the most useful equipment on this trip!”


”Woo-hoo!” ”The taxi driver comes with his snowmobile!” ”We’ll be saved!” //
”Hey, at least try to play it cool.” //
”I can’t take you all in one go but those who’ll have to wait can make a fire from this wood.” ”Yay!” //
”Well, this was a sort of an adventure again!” (The end.)

Talviretki 2: Kaikki kokoon!

WINTER TRIP 2: EVERYONE ASSEMBLE!

”So, this is going to be a hike. We could be the Fellowship of the Ring!” ”Eh, there’s just six of us, it’s too few.” //
”But — we can be the Avengers!” //
”Who’s gonna be who, then?” ”We’ll find that out over time.” //
”Kati is carrying all the heavy stuff, Kati is the Hulk!” //
”Snowhorse has all the orienteering technology, she can be Iron Man!” //
”Ha, I found the wood shed!” ”You have keen eyes, you get to be Hawkeye.”


”I can come and make the path again.” ”That’s brave! You’re like Captain America!” //
”I can carry your backpack up.” ”You’re strong, too, you can be Thor!” //
”Who am I, now?” ”Black Widow, not bad either.” //
”And there we go, everyone has a role.”
Avengers assemble!!!


”My inner DJ would like to play The Uralic Rowan (and old folk song) right about now.” ”Well, we can sing it now that we’re cooking.” //
(Singing the song) //
”This image suddenly popped into my head where Hulk and Iron Man are singing The Uralic Rowan in a wilderness hut.” //
(Singing the song)
”He he he.” ”Ha ha ha.”


”So, today we shall continue to that hut we rented. In daylight.” //
”This is pretty much just as hard like this, too!” //
Thump! ”You okay?” ”Yeah.” //
”We should sing an uplifting song now.” ”What would you suggest?” //
”Well, for example…” (Starts singing the Finnish national anthem) //
(Singing the ending of the Finnish national anthem) //
”That was surprisingly uplifting!” ”Hehe!” ”Haha!”


”How do we get out of here, with 16 kilometers of uncleared snowy road on our way?” //
”I think I can help.” ”Hulk?!” //
BLAF! //
”Ta-dah!” ”Wow! Thanks, Hulk!” //
”Too bad that was just a dream.” ”Yeah. We still have those 16 kilometers of snowy road there…”

Jatkuu… // To be continued…

The Avengers by Marvel

Talviretki 1: Matkalla pohjoiseen

WINTER TRIP 1: THE JOURNEY TO NORTH

”Well. It seems to be the time to start organizing the traditional New Year’s trip to Lapland. This time we could go the Urho Kekkonen National Park.” (Up there!) //
”I need to do a lot of stuff for it.” Book a hut / Book snow shoes / Plan the foods / Check bus time tables / Call a taxi. ”I’ve done almost everything, but still missing one…” //
”Urgh. It’s somehow always so dull to CALL to places. Especially since I need to ask about the keys and luggage and payment methods…” //
”Luckily, nowadays you can almost always send an e-mail.” //
”Can you drive us?” ”Yes.” ”Great.” //
”Ta-dah!” Book a hut / Book snow shoes / Plan the foods / Check bus time tables / ORDER a taxi


”I already collected everything I need for the trip so it’ll be easy to pack them.” //
”So now I can just relax during Christmas.” //
”Even though I did this dumb thing and just piled everything up on my bed…” //
…and left my backpack at the very bottom! //
”But then it’ll be easy for you to pack everything on top.” //
”…” //
”This joke just never gets old, does it?” ”No, it never will.”


Camelate: verb; to carry a big load like a camel.
Stuff to be given to others / My own stuff / Four pairs of snow shoes / Three pairs of ski poles / Two more pairs of snow shoes //
”At least now no one will try to sell me anything.”


23.47: ”I wonder if I get any sleep at all sitting here in this train?” //
3.30. ”Do we still have beer?”

(Ylläoleva on viittaus Juice Leskisen biisiin 3.30, jossa lauletaan kaikista aamuyöllä mieleen tulevista asioista, ja loppukaneettina on ”Vieläkö meillä on kaljaa?”)
(The comic above is a reference to the famous Finnish songwriter Juice Leskinen’s song 3.30, which, as far as I know, hasn’t been translated to English. Anyway, it’s a song about all kinds of stuff one thinks during the small hours, the last line being, ”Do we still have beer?”)


”It’s 2,5 kilometers to the hut from the parking lot.” ”Good.” //
”The road hasn’t been cleared of snow. I’ll leave you 12 kilometers away.” ”Oh.” //
”I’m tired!” ”I can’t!” ”Are we there yet?” ”I’m cold!” //
”Let’s stay and rest here in the previous hut.” //
”Thanks a lot for not clearing the road. I want to punch someone. Not sure whom, though…”

Jatkuu… // To be continued…

Interrail 3: Vapaasaapastelijat, osa 2/2

INTERRAIL 3: FREEBOOTERS, PART 2/2

”This is Rannoch Moor!” ”It’s what?” //
”The place where Scrooge McDuck is from!” ”Ah!” //
”If you come to the castle grounds you’ll have to pay a fine, you #@$*!!!” (Despite of our efforts, we didn’t find the McDuck castle.)

The next comic doesn’t translate, unfortunately. We’re coming up with Finnish translations for the Devil’s Staircase, a steep uphill on the West Highland Way that wasn’t as difficult to climb as the legends had told.


”Those were really pretty waterfalls.” ”Yes, totally worth the visit.” ”Our backpacks have waited here patiently.” //
”So, you’re gonna hop on again?” //
”’Cause you sure don’t look like you’re gonna walk anywhere on your own.” //
”Hahaha! ’You gonna hop on again?’ Hahahaha!” //
”Hahahahahahahahahahahaha…” //
”I guess I broke Aragorn…” ”…hahahahaha…”


”My new favorite piece of hiking gear is this space blanket. It’s foil on one side and tarpaulin on the other.” //
You can do so many things with it! If the ground is wet, you can sit on it. //
You can use it to make a shelter. //
You can wrap yourself in it to protect yourself from wind, rain and cold. //
You can place it at the bottom of a tent to protect a sleeper from the cold ground. //
”If you could dry yourself in it, it would be as useful as a towel!”

Vaelluksemme loppui Fort Williamiin, missä menimme pizzalle The Black Isle (Musta Saari) -nimiseen pubiin (tämä ei ole maksettu mainos, mutta oli kiva paikka). Ensin tosin kuulin pubin nimen väärin ja luulin sen olevan The Black Owl (Musta Pöllö). Ajattelin, että siinä olisi hieno nimi pubille tai majatalolle. Jos Musta Pöllö olisi majatalo, sillä voisi olla tällainen kyltti, jossa valkoiset osat ovat siis mustaan puulevyyn leikattuja reikiä.
Our hike ended in Fort William where we had pizza in a pub called The Black Isle (this is not sponsored but it was a nice place). At first I misheard the name as The Black Owl. I thought it would be a great name for a pub or an inn. If there was a Black Owl Inn it would have a sign like this, with the white parts being holes cut into a black wooden board.


”Sitä joko elää elämänsä niin kuin se tapahtuu, tarttuu sitä kuin härkää sarvista ja peittoaa sen, tai sille kääntää selkänsä ja alkaa kuihtua pois…” (Dr Boyce, Star Trek: The Cage)

Jatkuu… // To be continued…

Interrail 2: Vapaasaapastelijat, osa 1/2

INTERRAIL 2: FREEBOOTERS, PART 1/2

Aragornilla oli mukana vaelluksella West Highland Wayn opaskirja, jossa kerrottiin siitä, kuinka Skotlannin metsiä poltettiin, jotta niissä majailevat roistot ja ryövärit jäisivät vaille turvapaikkaa. Kyseisistä roistoista käytettiin englanniksi nimitystä ”freebooters”, joka oli meidän mielestämme hirveän hauska sana. Suomensimme sen ”vapaasaapastelijoiksi” ja käytimme itsestämme sitä nimeä lopun reissua.
Aragorn had a West Highland Way guidebook in which it was told how the Scottish forests were burned down to drive out all sorts of robbers and criminals who lived in the woods. Those criminals were referred to as ”freebooters” which was a word we found funny and started calling our hiking group freebooters as well.


First day of hiking: all day raining, a heavy backpack, three poorly slept nights, a broken hiking pole handle, a path that has turned into a creek, wet boots, steep uphill //
”Tomorrow should be easier in every way!” ”I hope so…”


”We have to go through that tunnel.” ”It looks pretty low.” //
”It is. Be careful.” //
”Are you stuck?” ”Yes. Help!!!”


”Kati, look what’s ahead! A tunnel!” //
”Oh dear, it looks rather low.” //
”We have to go through it before you so we can take pictures when you get stuck again!” ”Yeah!” //
”One of you should stay behind me so that you can take a video from both sides…” //
”Oh, yes, this is gonna be viral!” ”’A Finnish woman gets stuck in a low tunnel in Scotland’, a hit to be sure.” (The tunnel wasn’t that low.)


”!” //
”What did you find?” ”A rock.” //
”A very pretty rock.” //
”Maybe it’s a dragon’s egg?” //
”You mean like a small and grey one?” ”With a white stripe.” //
”Ooh, I’d like that!”



”…and then over that ridge, and then the rest will be fast kilometers.” ”You know…” //
”…that ’fast kilometers’ sounds like something you could say as a farewell to a fellow hiker.” //
”Like, ’good journey, fast kilometers’.” //
”Sunny days.” ”Favorable winds.” //
”May your tent always stand on even ground.” //
”May your boots never hurt your feet.” ”May your bra always be dry.” ”May your favorite book never be turned into a bad movie!”

Jatkuu… // To be continued…

Interrail 1: Matkaan taas kuljen nyt

INTERRAIL 1: OFF WE GO AGAIN

”I’d like to organize a hike to Scotland, on the West Highland way!” ”Ooh! Sounds awesome!” ”I wanna come, too!” ”Hi!” ”Count us in!” //
”So four hikers and hike leader.” ”Or four Hobbits and their Aragorn!” ”You can call me Aragorn from now on!” ”I’ll just write it down here.” ”How do we get to Scotland?” //
”We’re an environmental NGO, therefore we don’t fly.” ”An Interrail ticket might be just the ticket.” //
”Hey, I could go meet my friends in Britain and relatives in Austria while I’m at it.” //
”I’ll take a couple of months of train holiday! Europe, here I come!”


I went to see Mother and Big Brother before I left. ”So, you’re going the day after tomorrow?” ”Yep.” //
”How’s your packing going?” ”I haven’t even started yet.” //
”Kati couldn’t have packet yet, she has to pack everything on top.” ”This is not going to go away anytime soon…”


We took a ferry from Turku to Stockholm. //
”We’ll be travelling to Copenhagen in the first class of the train.” ”I see.” ”The tickets included an on-board breakfast.” ”I wonder what it’ll be like?” //
”And here you go.” ”Thank you.” ”A fascinating box.” //
”There’s yogurt in here!” ”And a tiny little bag of granola!” //
”A bread roll!” ”And cheese and lettuce!” //
”Cherry marmalade!” ”I’ve got apricot marmalade!” //
”A boiled egg!” ”Apple juice!” ”We should have made this into an unboxing video.” ”I go get tea.”


”We’re finally here.” ”That was a long way alright.” ”Now that’s an interesting clock.” //
”Yeah, it’s lacking the hands!” ”I guess it’s nothing o’clock then.” //
”Maybe we’ve died and entered the great beyond.” ”Perhaps.” //
”Remember the Valhalla mist we saw from the bridge in Denmark?” ”?” //
”This is it. That’s where we’ve ended up.” ”Ah, indeed.”

Jatkuu… // To be continued…

The Lord of the Rings by J.R.R. Tolkien