Veitsenterävää leikkausta

CUTTING-EDGE CUTTING

My friends and I had a pancake night. ”There’s one more crêpe left.” ”I could split it it someone.” //
”Well, I can take the other half.” ”Do you want the top-half or the bottom-half?” //
… //
”Either will do, but you’ll cut.” ”Ah fine, I’ll cut it vertically.”

Keski-sitä, keski-tätä

MIDDLE-THIS, MIDDLE-THAT

My flatmate and I went to the Recycle Centre. //
”Right. I go to see if I can find a couple of tablecloths.” ”Okay, I’ll be in the kitchen department.” //
”Waaaaait a minute. So I think I need to have more than one tablecloth. I’m not sure whether this is middle-aging or middle-classing…”

Yhteiset inhouksen kohteet

MUTUAL DISLIKES

”I’d need to buy new clothes.” ”Same here.” //
”But I hate going to buy clothes.” ”Same here.” //
”Maybe we should combine our strengths? We could go and look for new clothes together.” ”Why not. Would Thursday be okay for you?” //
”Normally people say that friends should do together something they both enjoy. We’re doing together things we both hate.” ”But what does it tell about us?”

Makkarakoira

SAUSAGE DOG

Kämppiksen siskon mäyräkoira Tiuku oli meillä hoidossa pari päivää ja vei minut lenkille kauniiseen syysluontoon.
My flatmate’s sister’s dachshund Tiuku (”jingle bell”) visited us for a couple of days and took me for a walk in the beautiful autumn woods.

Suuria keksintöjä

GREAT INVENTIONS

”My friends – my mean friends – say that if I had lived in the Stone Age, I would have opposed when someone invented the wheel.” //
”And they’re probably not wrong. I would have thought that it goes too fast.” //
”I would have asked why we should use a round wheel when the square one was just fine.” //
”Or actually, the triangular one worked really well, too. Or we could just carry everything.” //
”Yeah. I wouldn’t have invented anything beneficial to mankind’s development.” ”I think there’s one useful thing you would have invented, though.” //
”Oh? What’s that?” ”Brakes.”

Kärsäkäs

WEEVIL

”Berries for my morning porridge…” //
”Oh! There was a bug there!” //
Some people: ”Yuuuuuucckk!!! Yuckyuckyuckyuck! Take it AWAY!!!” //
Some others: ”Yuuuccckk help!” //
Still others: ”Could someone just throw it out? The porridge, too?” //
And some: ”If I just… toss it out of the window?” //
Me: ”Awwwwww it’s so cute! It’s a weevil of some kind!” //
”Hello little weevil! How are you? I hope you’re not hurt?”

Hiha

SLEEVE

In summer 2020 when one didn’t yet have to wear a mask everywhere… ”Hmph, I need to go and buy new bra…” //
”Dear customer, please keep a safety distance and sneeze in a tissue or in your sleeve.” ”Hmm…” //
Fitting room //
”These are fine… Aaah… I need to sneeze…” //
”What am I gonna do?! H-h-h…! I don’t have a tissue!” //
”And I can’t sneeze in my sleeve! Haaa–! I’m half-naked!” //
”Haaa-tshuuuu!!!”