ANSWERS 1: CAPTAINS

Pahoittelen kammottavaa tekstimuuria, mutta jotkin asiat on tehtävä kunnolla.
I apologize for this horrible wall of text, but some things have to be done properly.

”The first question is from Julia. She asks me to rank Star Trek captains in any way I like.” //
”This is a fun question but it has a problem. From all the Star Trek series I’ve only watched The Original Series, The Next Generation and Voyager. Therefore, I know well only Kirk, Picard and Janeway.” //
”Sisko from Deep Space Nine, Archer from Enterprise and Lorca from Discovery are rather unfamiliar to me, so it is difficult to compare them with TOS’s Kirk, TNG’s Picard and Voyager’s Janeway.” //
”I’ll try to compare the captains so that this is not and advantage or disadvantage for different characters. I’ll rank the captains based on their ”captenic credibility” as this is based on external characteristics.” //
”I’ll compare them in four categories: name, looks, uniform and quote. I’ll give points from one to five in each category. 1 means ”not impressed”, 5 means ”awesome”. The one who gets the most points wins the title of ”the most convincing captain. We’ll see how this turns out. But first, a couple of notes.” //
”First off: I only take in the ”main captain” of each series. Other characters seen as captains – such as Pike, Sulu, Riker, Chakotay or Kim – are not taken into this ranking.” //
”And secondly: movies don’t count. Hence reboot-Trek is left out, as it would mess things for Kirk (and it’s not canon).”

ROUND 1: NAMES
”On this round I give points based on how I like the character’s name and how ”cool” Starfleet captain name I think it is.” //
KIRK: Not a very special or super-cool name but it’s short and easy to remember. Nickname for friends. Points: 3
PICARD: You can see he’s French all the way from the next quadrant. That’s about all I have to say. Points: 2
SISKO: Sisko. He he he he. (In Finnish, ”Sisko” means ”sister” and it’s also a woman’s name.) Benjamin is a nice name but too soft for a Starfleet officer. Not impressed. Points: 1
JANEWAY: Right way, wrong way, Janeway. Points from this alone. Extra points from spelling her first name Kathryn instead of Catherine. Points: 4
ARCHER: Archer is about the coolest family name you could ask for. Jonathan is also a nice name. I like. Points: 5
LORCA: Not a very catchy name – I had to check it about five times. Gabriel is a nice first name. Points: 2

ROUND 2: LOOKS
”I give points based on how convincing ”captain-look” each character has. No points for being a hottie, sorry. But I’ll give extra for easy-to-remember looks.” //
KIRK: Hey, a neighbor boy from the countryside! Looks like someone who’d like to go and make out behind the barn. Points: 2
PICARD: A small bald man whose eye color I can’t figure out. Doesn’t normally have to give orders twice. Points: 3
SISKO: A guy with his looks probably NEVER has to give his orders twice. Points: 5
JANEWAY: This redhead puts her hands on her hips and gives you THE STARE. You’ll do as you were told. Points: 4
ARCHER: I couldn’t pick this guy from a police line. Nice smile, though. Points: 2
LORCA: A bit like Archer but with a shorter face. Trying to look like a samurai? Points: 2

ROUND 3: UNIFORMS (Doesn’t require explaining…)
KIRK: Dude. You’re wearing a mustard-colored t-shirt and trousers that are four inches too short. Not cool. Points: 1
PICARD: From a too small uniform to a good uniform to a weird coat thingy. Make up your mind! Average points: 3
SISKO: I don’t… like those shoulders. And what happened to all the colors?! Points: 2
JANEWAY: Pretty practical and stylish uniform, though the separate collar is stupid. Points: 4
ARCHER: Because… overalls? Thanks to the pockets probably very practical. Points: 2
LORCA: Nice boots. Too many little details and hard to tell the rank. Points: 2

ROUND 4: QUOTE
”I searched for ”Star Trek X quotes”, where X is the last name of the captain, in Google Image Search. The first quote actually said by the captain in their series was then chosen.” //
KIRK: Didn’t Jane Austen write a book about this? Sums up Starfleet ideals pretty well. Points: 4
PICARD: Picard doesn’t give up. And Thinking outside the box is always good. Points: 3
SISKO: Jeah, but what do YOU say? (My search method wasn’t good for Sisko. Sorry, Ben.) Points: 2
JANEWAY: Time to set Vulcans straight. Normally Janeway talks about coffee. Points: 3
ARCHER: Star Trek’s lectures about humanity, part many. It’s good to learn from your mistakes, though. Points: 3
LORCA: Dudes, look at me! I’m a depressed and mystical character! (Also: one of the two Lorca-quotes I found with my search method.) Points: 1

”I wrote down all the points in this table…” //
”So congratulations, Kathryn! You are the most captain-ny captain in Star Trek!” ”Say what?” //
”I do think that Sisko, Archer and Lorca were the underdogs here despite my efforts, as I don’t really know them. Lorca doesn’t even have a full season out yet (in January 2018) so he has no good quotes, for example.” //
”Despite my rankings, I believe I’d like each captain if and when I get to know them. And I intend to! And, of course, these were juts my thoughts. Please tell me what you think! I just hope I’ve answered Julia’s question in a satisfying way.”

Star Trek created by Gene Roddenberry