A MEAN GULL

”How old is that wisent now?” ”A little over a week.” //
”Kia kia kiaaaaaaa!” //
”Ew, that gull is so mean, that’s terrible!” //
”She’s not mean, she’s a good and brave mother protecting her chicks!” //
”She was scared by the calf running around as she has her nest on the roof there.” ”Oh…” //
”Well, this person luckily understood but surprisingly many think that some animals are ”mean”.” //
”Defending oneself or one’s young or territory is not mean but necessary – and often dangerous to the defender as well. And because animals do not think about their actions from a moral view point we shouldn’t moralize them either.”

WHO YA GONNA CALL?

Goose team //
Provokes – profiles – processes //
Professionally //
Since 2019

Eli minä ja työkaverit työn touhussa. Laitoin törkeästi itseni keskelle koska olen oman elämäni päähenkilö, muuta oikeutusta siihen ei ole 😀
That’s me and my colleagues working. I placed myself in the middle only because I’m the main character of my life, that’s the only excuse I have 😀

CRITERIA

”!” //
”That’s definitely trying to destroy my nest!” //
”RRRRRAAAHHH!!!” ”!” //
”You know, girl, if I ever get married, I, too, want my husband to be someone who attacks things 200 heavier than himself to protect me and our babies.”

En todellakaan halua ketään, joka hakkaa kaikkea, mikä liikkuu, mutta hanhiherrojen rohkeus on esimerkillistä. On myös rehellisyyden nimissä sanottava, etten ole koskaan kuullut hanhen huutavan ”raah!” Itse asiassa ne eivät juuri kaakata ihmisille vaan lähinnä toisilleen. Hanhet varmaankin tietävät, etteivät useimmat ihmiset puhu kummoista hanhea.
I really don’t want anyone who hits everything that moves but male geese are exemplary in their bravery. To be honest, I also have to say that I’ve never heard a goose say ”raah!” Actually, they don’t even quack to humans but mainly to each other. Geese probably realize that most humans don’t speak goose that well.

GOOSE GUIDE 2.0

”A couple of extra hands would be really useful…” ”In this job they really would!” //
”But wings would be really good too, we’d get faster where we’re needed!” //
”A tail would be nice too – one you could grab things with!” ”Or a kangaroo’s tail you can lean on!” //
”Horns or antlers would protect from attacking geese.” //
”Yeah! And we could have new ears, too. I think goats have the most adorable ears!” //
”Ooh, then I’d like wild boar’s ears! New eyes would be pretty useful as well…” //
”And cat-like claws you can pull in!” ”They’d be handy! As well as a better sense of smell.” //
”Do you think our bosses would pay for these upgrades?” ”We can always ask!”

A HELPING HAND (OR EIGHT)

”A goose guide needs all sorts of different equipment in their job.” //
Bad nesting places are covered with peat blocks. //
Larger areas are covered with nets that are fastened in place with sticks. //
Or rocks. //
Or string. //
Scissors are used to cut fitting pieces of the net. //
A helmet and goggles protect from geese defending their territories. //
A broom is a good tool for keeping the goose in safe distance. //
The equipment travels around in a cart. A co-worker is the most important equipment. //
”You really can’t make your nest there, buddies.” ”We’re ready.”

White-tailed eagle: usually found soaring in the archipelago, this great bird of pray once went nearly extinct but has recently even nested in Helsinki. ”Wow.” //
Fox: this adaptable predator has conquered cities all over the world. ”It’s so nice that there’s nature in towns, too!” //
Great horned eagle: a bird of great old woods that has been seen even in the centers of cities in the past few years. ”Let’s name our national football team after this!” //
Barnacle goose: an arctic migratory bird that has nested in the Baltic Sea area since 1970’s and settles in urban areas as well. ”Shit goose!!!”

Note for my non-Finnish readers: the Finnish national football team is called ”Huuhkajat” (”Great horned owls”) after an incident in 2007 when a great horned owl, later named Bubi, interrupted a game between Finland and Belgium for several minutes by flying around the football field and sitting in the goal. Finland then won said match. Other Finnish national sports teams also have been named after animals: the national basketball team is called ”Susijengi” (”Wolf gang”) and, most notably, the Finnish national ice hockey team is called ”Leijonat” (”Lions”) because there’s a lion in the Finnish coat of arms (even though there are no lions in Finnish woods…).

WORM

”Oh, a worm has crawled on the asphalt.” //
”Oh no! It got stuck to a branch!” //
”And to a thorny rose branch, too…” //
”Gulps! It went into two pieces!” //
”I broke a worm! Noooooooo!!!” //
”I was actually pretty sad about this.”