”Oh, someone’s dropped their phone.” ”I see.” //
”We could take it to the police. Where might the closest police station be?” ”Right on the other side of this street.” //
”Hi, we found someone’s phone.” ”Do you have any demands regarding this matter?” //
”Well, a reward for finding it, of course. A big one.” //
”And its owner’s horse. And their kingdom.” //
”And their first-born (not that I’d know what to do with it). And why not their other offspring, too.” //
”And all their future income from now until the end of time donated to nature conservation and — ” //

Juristiystäväni kyllä valisti minua jälkeenpäin, että esimerkiksi löytöpalkkiota voisi kyllä vaatia, ja ylipäätään ”kaikkea voi aina vaatia, mutta on toinen asia saako sitä”. Ei kyllä silloin tullut mieleen vaatia yhtään mitään, enkä kyllä olisi vaatinutkaan siitä, että kävelin vapaapäivänäni kirjaimellisesti tien toiselle puolelle poliisiasemalle.
My jurist friend did tell me later on that one could always demand a reward, and that, in general, ”you can always demand everything, but getting it is a different story”. It didn’t occur to me at the moment that I could actually demand some sort of reward, and I wouldn’t have in any case, for literally walking across the street to the police station on my day off.



On a camp: ”Phew, it’s hot!” ”We wanna go swimming!” //
”Good night, instructors!” //
”I hope nobody minds if I sleep in just my underpants since it’s so warm.” ”By all means.” //
*Rumble!* //
”Now that’s quite the storm!” ”Should we go check the kids are alright?” //
”I’ll go. But where are all my clothes now?” //
”Never mind, I’ll just take my raincoat.” ”Tell us if you need any help there!” //
”I do hope everything’s okay! I really wouldn’t wanna move a tent wearing nothing but undies and a raincoat!”



Summer Camp Fair: Fortuneteller! //
”Well, Peter, did you go see the fortuneteller?” ””Yes.” //
”And what did she tell you?” ”Well, that…” //
”I’ll get a new sister within the year.” //
*Plab* //
”There there…” ”No! Not another Rosie! Not another Rosie!!!” Rosie: >:(



”The others are on the next bus, it should be here in a moment.” //
”I think I’ll wait on the bank there.” //
”Hey, Kati is there!” //
”How long have you been there?” ”All the time. Apparently one turns invisible if one doesn’t move.”

Viimeiset sanat


”You ready?” ”I hope so…” //
”Here we go!” //
”This is a bad idea!” ”This is a BRILLIANT idea!” //
”And if we die now, those were my magnificent last words!” //
”No they weren’t, you spoke after them.” ”!” //
”This was a BRILLIANT idea!” ”Good! Now shut up and concentrate on steering!”



Olin kevään opettajana ammattikoulussa. Lähtiessäni piirsin työkaverini lintuina.
In the spring I worked as a teacher in a vocational school. When I left, I drew my work mates as birds.

Kortin sisälle piirsin itseni selittämään asioita, ja olin tietenkin varis:
I drew myself inside the card explaining things, and naturally I was a crow:

Opiskelijat olivat tällä kertaa kaikki liroja.
All the students were wood sandpipers this time.

Kuule istuta vielä se omenapuu


”Oh, someone had dumped a house plant on the street.” //
”I guess I’ll take it with me. After all, I promised that all homeless plants would be welcome to my home.”

Jutun otsikko on sitaatti Juice Leskisen kappaleesta Myrkytyksen oireet. Pelastamani kasvi ei toki ollut omenapuu vaan joku limoviikuna tai jotain, mutta muuten sopii tyyliin.
The title of this post is a quote from Finnish artist Juice Leskinen’s song Symptoms of Poisoning. I didn’t even know before that the song has been translated to English. The plant I saved was not an apple tree but some sort of a ficus tree, and the Finnish version somehow works better anyway, but whatever.



Olin töissä ammattikoulussa puoli vuotta. Se oli enimmäkseen aika kivaa, mutta sitten oli näitä koulutuksia…
I worked in a vocational school for six months. It was mostly pretty much fun but then there were training days…

”That’s a herring gull, right?” ”Yes, that’s correct!” //
”I’d also like to welcome you to this remote training.” ”There are quite a few of you, 186 altogether.” ”…” //
”Here, have a garlic mustard chip!” ”Yummy!” //
”…when comparing to the last three years…” //
”Well, now it’s burning, good job!” ”Yes!” //
”…mirroring the values of the learning institute…” ”Z” //
”Just a little longer, you can do this!” //
”…KrOps and SePo teams and the Alisa software…” ”!!!” //
”~~~~~!” ”~~~~~!” //
”…charting the customer profile…” ”Grrrggh.”