Arkistot kuukauden mukaan: kesäkuu 2022

Metallia, mutta kuvitteellista

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IT’S METAL, BUT IMAGINARY

”Well, you all know that I read a lot and also watch TV and movies.” //
”And I have noticed that there’s often this kind of plot pattern in sci-fi and fantasy…” //
The Lord of the Rings: ”We have this really fine and valuable metal, Mithril. I think we could fight over who owns it.” //
Star Wars: ”The Empire stole super strong and precious metal, Beskar, from the Mandalorians. This annoys us greatly.” //
Mervel: ”Your shield is made of Vibranium! So it belongs to Wakanda!” ”Let’s fight over it.” //
Stargate: ”The gate has of a metal called Naquadah.” ”You can also make a bomb out of it. So it’s worth a war.” //
”Not to say that real history didn’t do it…” //
Chilkoot Pass, 1896: Half of us are gonna die!” (Gold?) //
”Metal and people don’t match that well.”

The Lord of the Rings by J. R. R. Tolkien
Star Wars by Lucasfilm
Marvel by, well, Marvel
Stargate by Metro Goldwin Mayer

Onni

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Onni on Temmin hahmo Sankariakatemia-roolipelissä. Onni on ihmisen kokoinen alien-orava, jolla on pakkomielle pähkinöihin. Hän on myös porukan MacGyver.
Onni (whose name means ”Luck”) in Temmi’s character in the Hero Academy RPG. Onni is a human-sized alien-squirrel with an obsession to nuts. He’s the MacGyver of the team.

Random kissa on random.
Random cat is random.

Hyttyset

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MOSQUITOES

”Damn, mosquitoes!” //
”And I don’t have a mosquito net. What would MacGyver do?” //
”Well, he’d of course take out the duct tape roll he’d brought along…” //
”…rip off some pieces with which he’d tape…” //
”…the hammock into a ’pea pod’ where mosquitoes won’t bother him.” //
”Hah. This actually works.” ”Darn.” //
This method is 100% MacGyver approved!

Naapurustosi ystävällinen stalkkaaja

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YOUR FRIENDLY NEIGHBORHOOD STALKER

”Hey, Neighbor is at home!” ”I wanna see, too!” //
”Can you see Neighbor’s kids?” ”Not right now.” //
”They should be there though, they’re still so young.” ”Yeah…” //
”Hey yes, now I can see the Neighbor’s kids, too!” ”Let me see as well!” //
”Oh my, they’re grown so much!” ”Yeah, and they’re cute all right.” //
We are not watching you but the fieldfare nest in the tree!

Kokovartalotyö

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FULL BODY JOB

”Birds can be identified from other things than colors and patters, too.” //
”Such as from sounds. A wood pigeon sounds something like this… wro-huu-hu-hu-huu!” ”That sounds really authentic!” //
”Woodpeckers have an easy-to-recognize flying style: flapflapflap – sliiiiide – flapflapflap – sliiiiide…” //
”Starlings mostly walk… whereas blackbirds jump, like this. A little bit quieter, though.” //
”Herons have a fun way of walking. Kinda careful and noble.” //
”A white-tailed eagle soars like a barn door tossed to the sky…” //
”…circling slowly without moving its wings… disappearing into the azure… like so…”

Joku tiira

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SOME GULL

”And what is this bird here?” ”A herring gull!” //
”That’s really close! It’s a common gull. You can tell by color of the legs.” //
”…but it’s got a fish in its mouth so of course it has to be a herring gull!” ”!?” //
”Congratulations, you have mastered the fine art of fast-talking.”

A note on the English translation: the original comic is about terns, however the joke (and the actual event!) does not translate. It does work with gulls, though, so I changed the species so that you can enjoy the good save my student came up with.

Hyvät opetusmetodit

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GOOD TEACHING METHODS

”This one here is red sorrel, it’s easy to recognize from the shape of the leaves.” //
”And the taste is pretty sour and salty, too.” //
”Did you just eat that leaf?” ”Yes.” //
”Help help our teacher ate the teaching material!!!”

Toisinaan olen tarpeeton

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OCCASIONALLY I’M OBSOLETE

”Hi Mom! Hi Big Brother!” ”Hello!” ”Hi!” //
”And happy Mother’s Day!” ”Thank you!” //
”I didn’t bring anything but myself… but you wouldn’t be a mother without me.” //
”Kati. You have a big brother. So I literally don’t need you to be a mother.” ”Yeah, remember me?” //
”…” //
””That is logical all right…” ”But other than that you’re important and dear.”

Tämä ei oikeasti tapahtunut muualla kuin päässäni.
None of this actually happened anywhere else than in my brain.

Vuoden mittainen päivä

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A DAY AS LONG AS A YEAR

Joillain ihmisillä on ilmeisesti syvällisiä ”suihkuajatuksia”, mä taas ajattelen kummallisia harjatessani hampaita.
Apparently, some people have depp ”shover thoughts”, I just think weird stuff when brushing my teeth.

Brush brush //
”What if… the Earth turned really slowly?” //
So slowly that there’d be just one day and night in a year? So that a year and a nychthemeron would be equally long. //
”Night side” would probably always be covered in ice. //
I wonder if there could be life that followed the day/summer around the planet? //
”Of course… Such a one day/year system already exists on the poles…” //
”Oh well… back to work it is…”