Vastauksia 3: Sanaleikkejä

”Mr Brony asks, ’Whose jokes are better, mine or Mudkip’s?'” //
”I assume that by jokes he mostly means puns, as they are an important part of the verbal communication of both Brony and Mudkip…” //
”Now the thing is that I like puns as much as the next person – unless that person is Mudkip or Mr Brony in which case I like them a little less…” //
”However, I have started to believe that these two gentleman – despite of never meeting each other to my knowledge – have a secret plan of drive me crazy. IN TWO LANGUAGES.” //
”So, as an answer to your question… Your puns are EQUALLY TERRIBLE!” //
”And I wouldn’t trade those puns of yours… or you guys… for anything in the world.”

Ja ihan vain näyttääkseni teille, mitä joudun kestämään: muutamia sanaleikkejä. Yllättäen nämä eivän käänny. Ensin herra Bronyn tyylinäyte.
And just to show you what I have to stand: some puns. Surprisingly these don’t translate. First one by Mr Brony.

Seuraavaksi yksi Mudkipin monista sanaleikeistä siltä ajalta, kun opiskelin Skotlannissa:
Next one of Mudkip’s numerous puns from the time I was studying in Scotland:

Ja no joo, kyllä minäkin joskus heittelen sanaleikkejä, tosin vahingossa…
Well okay, I sometimes pun too, by accident…

…ja joskus tarkoituksellakin:
…and sometimes on purpose, too:

Kiitos herra Bronyn kysymyksen sain viimeinkin aikaiseksi piirtää nämä vanhat ideat. Ja sanaleikkijuttujahan riittää. Ehkä saatte kärsiä niistä toiseenkin kertaan…
Thanks to Mr Brony’s question, I finally drew these old comic ideas. And I’ve got lots of puns in storage. Maybe you’ll suffer more from them some other time…

I think I should apologize to Jimothy because my comics always make him look like a really violent person with absolutely no sense of humor. He’s not, you know.

Vastauksia 2: Sankareiden ominaisuuksia

”Katariina asks, ’Which powers/qualities/characteristics would you like to get from your favorite characters?'” //
”I’m going to leave out such super-cool but unreachable things like the ability the fly and concentrate more on mental features.” //
I’l like SHERLOCK HOLMES’ skill to not only notice details but also figure out what they might mean. (i don’t want his smoking addiction, though.) //
And MACGYVER’s way of thinking that doesn’t begin by asking, ’What is it that I don’t have?’ but by ’What is it that I do have and what could it be?’ //
As well as GUINAN’s ability to always ask the right questions and be kind to those who really need it. //
”And, well, it would be cool to be able to do the Vulcan nerve pinch. Maybe Mr Spock could teach me to do it?” ”You do know that learning the nerve pinch starts the same way as learning how to use a stun gun? First you have to know how the victim feels like!”

En ole muuten koskaan ollut missään tekemisissä etälamauttimien kanssa, mutta olen kuullut, että poliisikoulussa joutuu kokemaan, miltä tuntuu, kun sillä täräytetään. Mikä on mielestäni ihan hyvä asia.
By the way, I’ve never been associated wit stun guns in any way. But I have heard that in police school you have to experience what it feels like to be tased with one. Which, I think, is not such a bad idea.

Sherloch Holmes created by sir Arthur Conan Doyle
MacGyver created by Lee David Zlotoff
Star Trek created by Gene Roddenberry

Vastauksia 1: Kapteenit


Pahoittelen kammottavaa tekstimuuria, mutta jotkin asiat on tehtävä kunnolla.
I apologize for this horrible wall of text, but some things have to be done properly.
”The first question is from Julia. She asks me to rank Star Trek captains in any way I like.” //
”This is a fun question but it has a problem. From all the Star Trek series I’ve only watched The Original Series, The Next Generation and Voyager. Therefore, I know well only Kirk, Picard and Janeway.” //
”Sisko from Deep Space Nine, Archer from Enterprise and Lorca from Discovery are rather unfamiliar to me, so it is difficult to compare them with TOS’s Kirk, TNG’s Picard and Voyager’s Janeway.” //
”I’ll try to compare the captains so that this is not and advantage or disadvantage for different characters. I’ll rank the captains based on their ”captenic credibility” as this is based on external characteristics.” //
”I’ll compare them in four categories: name, looks, uniform and quote. I’ll give points from one to five in each category. 1 means ”not impressed”, 5 means ”awesome”. The one who gets the most points wins the title of ”the most convincing captain. We’ll see how this turns out. But first, a couple of notes.” //
”First off: I only take in the ”main captain” of each series. Other characters seen as captains – such as Pike, Sulu, Riker, Chakotay or Kim – are not taken into this ranking.” //
”And secondly: movies don’t count. Hence reboot-Trek is left out, as it would mess things for Kirk (and it’s not canon).”

”On this round I give points based on how I like the character’s name and how ”cool” Starfleet captain name I think it is.” //
KIRK: Not a very special or super-cool name but it’s short and easy to remember. Nickname for friends. Points: 3
PICARD: You can see he’s French all the way from the next quadrant. That’s about all I have to say. Points: 2
SISKO: Sisko. He he he he. (In Finnish, ”Sisko” means ”sister” and it’s also a woman’s name.) Benjamin is a nice name but too soft for a Starfleet officer. Not impressed. Points: 1
JANEWAY: Right way, wrong way, Janeway. Points from this alone. Extra points from spelling her first name Kathryn instead of Catherine. Points: 4
ARCHER: Archer is about the coolest family name you could ask for. Jonathan is also a nice name. I like. Points: 5
LORCA: Not a very catchy name – I had to check it about five times. Gabriel is a nice first name. Points: 2

”I give points based on how convincing ”captain-look” each character has. No points for being a hottie, sorry. But I’ll give extra for easy-to-remember looks.” //
KIRK: Hey, a neighbor boy from the countryside! Looks like someone who’d like to go and make out behind the barn. Points: 2
PICARD: A small bald man whose eye color I can’t figure out. Doesn’t normally have to give orders twice. Points: 3
SISKO: A guy with his looks probably NEVER has to give his orders twice. Points: 5
JANEWAY: This redhead puts her hands on her hips and gives you THE STARE. You’ll do as you were told. Points: 4
ARCHER: I couldn’t pick this guy from a police line. Nice smile, though. Points: 2
LORCA: A bit like Archer but with a shorter face. Trying to look like a samurai? Points: 2

ROUND 3: UNIFORMS (Doesn’t require explaining…)
KIRK: Dude. You’re wearing a mustard-colored t-shirt and trousers that are four inches too short. Not cool. Points: 1
PICARD: From a too small uniform to a good uniform to a weird coat thingy. Make up your mind! Average points: 3
SISKO: I don’t… like those shoulders. And what happened to all the colors?! Points: 2
JANEWAY: Pretty practical and stylish uniform, though the separate collar is stupid. Points: 4
ARCHER: Because… overalls? Thanks to the pockets probably very practical. Points: 2
LORCA: Nice boots. Too many little details and hard to tell the rank. Points: 2

”I searched for ”Star Trek X quotes”, where X is the last name of the captain, in Google Image Search. The first quote actually said by the captain in their series was then chosen.” //
KIRK: Didn’t Jane Austen write a book about this? Sums up Starfleet ideals pretty well. Points: 4
PICARD: Picard doesn’t give up. And Thinking outside the box is always good. Points: 3
SISKO: Jeah, but what do YOU say? (My search method wasn’t good for Sisko. Sorry, Ben.) Points: 2
JANEWAY: Time to set Vulcans straight. Normally Janeway talks about coffee. Points: 3
ARCHER: Star Trek’s lectures about humanity, part many. It’s good to learn from your mistakes, though. Points: 3
LORCA: Dudes, look at me! I’m a depressed and mystical character! (Also: one of the two Lorca-quotes I found with my search method.) Points: 1

”I wrote down all the points in this table…” //
”So congratulations, Kathryn! You are the most captain-ny captain in Star Trek!” ”Say what?” //
”I do think that Sisko, Archer and Lorca were the underdogs here despite my efforts, as I don’t really know them. Lorca doesn’t even have a full season out yet (in January 2018) so he has no good quotes, for example.” //
”Despite my rankings, I believe I’d like each captain if and when I get to know them. And I intend to! And, of course, these were juts my thoughts. Please tell me what you think! I just hope I’ve answered Julia’s question in a satisfying way.”

Star Trek created by Gene Roddenberry