WINTER TRIP 1: THE JOURNEY TO NORTH

”Well. It seems to be the time to start organizing the traditional New Year’s trip to Lapland. This time we could go the Urho Kekkonen National Park.” (Up there!) //
”I need to do a lot of stuff for it.” Book a hut / Book snow shoes / Plan the foods / Check bus time tables / Call a taxi. ”I’ve done almost everything, but still missing one…” //
”Urgh. It’s somehow always so dull to CALL to places. Especially since I need to ask about the keys and luggage and payment methods…” //
”Luckily, nowadays you can almost always send an e-mail.” //
”Can you drive us?” ”Yes.” ”Great.” //
”Ta-dah!” Book a hut / Book snow shoes / Plan the foods / Check bus time tables / ORDER a taxi

”I already collected everything I need for the trip so it’ll be easy to pack them.” //
”So now I can just relax during Christmas.” //
”Even though I did this dumb thing and just piled everything up on my bed…” //
…and left my backpack at the very bottom! //
”But then it’ll be easy for you to pack everything on top.” //
”…” //
”This joke just never gets old, does it?” ”No, it never will.”

Camelate: verb; to carry a big load like a camel.
Stuff to be given to others / My own stuff / Four pairs of snow shoes / Three pairs of ski poles / Two more pairs of snow shoes //
”At least now no one will try to sell me anything.”

23.47: ”I wonder if I get any sleep at all sitting here in this train?” //
3.30. ”Do we still have beer?”

(Ylläoleva on viittaus Juice Leskisen biisiin 3.30, jossa lauletaan kaikista aamuyöllä mieleen tulevista asioista, ja loppukaneettina on ”Vieläkö meillä on kaljaa?”)
(The comic above is a reference to the famous Finnish songwriter Juice Leskinen’s song 3.30, which, as far as I know, hasn’t been translated to English. Anyway, it’s a song about all kinds of stuff one thinks during the small hours, the last line being, ”Do we still have beer?”)

”It’s 2,5 kilometers to the hut from the parking lot.” ”Good.” //
”The road hasn’t been cleared of snow. I’ll leave you 12 kilometers away.” ”Oh.” //
”I’m tired!” ”I can’t!” ”Are we there yet?” ”I’m cold!” //
”Let’s stay and rest here in the previous hut.” //
”Thanks a lot for not clearing the road. I want to punch someone. Not sure whom, though…”

Jatkuu… // To be continued…

INTERRAIL 3: FREEBOOTERS, PART 2/2

”This is Rannoch Moor!” ”It’s what?” //
”The place where Scrooge McDuck is from!” ”Ah!” //
”If you come to the castle grounds you’ll have to pay a fine, you #@$*!!!” (Despite of our efforts, we didn’t find the McDuck castle.)

The next comic doesn’t translate, unfortunately. We’re coming up with Finnish translations for the Devil’s Staircase, a steep uphill on the West Highland Way that wasn’t as difficult to climb as the legends had told.


”Those were really pretty waterfalls.” ”Yes, totally worth the visit.” ”Our backpacks have waited here patiently.” //
”So, you’re gonna hop on again?” //
”’Cause you sure don’t look like you’re gonna walk anywhere on your own.” //
”Hahaha! ’You gonna hop on again?’ Hahahaha!” //
”Hahahahahahahahahahahaha…” //
”I guess I broke Aragorn…” ”…hahahahaha…”

”My new favorite piece of hiking gear is this space blanket. It’s foil on one side and tarpaulin on the other.” //
You can do so many things with it! If the ground is wet, you can sit on it. //
You can use it to make a shelter. //
You can wrap yourself in it to protect yourself from wind, rain and cold. //
You can place it at the bottom of a tent to protect a sleeper from the cold ground. //
”If you could dry yourself in it, it would be as useful as a towel!”

Vaelluksemme loppui Fort Williamiin, missä menimme pizzalle The Black Isle (Musta Saari) -nimiseen pubiin (tämä ei ole maksettu mainos, mutta oli kiva paikka). Ensin tosin kuulin pubin nimen väärin ja luulin sen olevan The Black Owl (Musta Pöllö). Ajattelin, että siinä olisi hieno nimi pubille tai majatalolle. Jos Musta Pöllö olisi majatalo, sillä voisi olla tällainen kyltti, jossa valkoiset osat ovat siis mustaan puulevyyn leikattuja reikiä.
Our hike ended in Fort William where we had pizza in a pub called The Black Isle (this is not sponsored but it was a nice place). At first I misheard the name as The Black Owl. I thought it would be a great name for a pub or an inn. If there was a Black Owl Inn it would have a sign like this, with the white parts being holes cut into a black wooden board.


”Sitä joko elää elämänsä niin kuin se tapahtuu, tarttuu sitä kuin härkää sarvista ja peittoaa sen, tai sille kääntää selkänsä ja alkaa kuihtua pois…” (Dr Boyce, Star Trek: The Cage)

Jatkuu… // To be continued…

INTERRAIL 2: FREEBOOTERS, PART 1/2

Aragornilla oli mukana vaelluksella West Highland Wayn opaskirja, jossa kerrottiin siitä, kuinka Skotlannin metsiä poltettiin, jotta niissä majailevat roistot ja ryövärit jäisivät vaille turvapaikkaa. Kyseisistä roistoista käytettiin englanniksi nimitystä ”freebooters”, joka oli meidän mielestämme hirveän hauska sana. Suomensimme sen ”vapaasaapastelijoiksi” ja käytimme itsestämme sitä nimeä lopun reissua.
Aragorn had a West Highland Way guidebook in which it was told how the Scottish forests were burned down to drive out all sorts of robbers and criminals who lived in the woods. Those criminals were referred to as ”freebooters” which was a word we found funny and started calling our hiking group freebooters as well.

First day of hiking: all day raining, a heavy backpack, three poorly slept nights, a broken hiking pole handle, a path that has turned into a creek, wet boots, steep uphill //
”Tomorrow should be easier in every way!” ”I hope so…”

”We have to go through that tunnel.” ”It looks pretty low.” //
”It is. Be careful.” //
”Are you stuck?” ”Yes. Help!!!”

”Kati, look what’s ahead! A tunnel!” //
”Oh dear, it looks rather low.” //
”We have to go through it before you so we can take pictures when you get stuck again!” ”Yeah!” //
”One of you should stay behind me so that you can take a video from both sides…” //
”Oh, yes, this is gonna be viral!” ”’A Finnish woman gets stuck in a low tunnel in Scotland’, a hit to be sure.” (The tunnel wasn’t that low.)

”!” //
”What did you find?” ”A rock.” //
”A very pretty rock.” //
”Maybe it’s a dragon’s egg?” //
”You mean like a small and grey one?” ”With a white stripe.” //
”Ooh, I’d like that!”


”…and then over that ridge, and then the rest will be fast kilometers.” ”You know…” //
”…that ’fast kilometers’ sounds like something you could say as a farewell to a fellow hiker.” //
”Like, ’good journey, fast kilometers’.” //
”Sunny days.” ”Favorable winds.” //
”May your tent always stand on even ground.” //
”May your boots never hurt your feet.” ”May your bra always be dry.” ”May your favorite book never be turned into a bad movie!”

Jatkuu… // To be continued…

INTERRAIL 1: OFF WE GO AGAIN

”I’d like to organize a hike to Scotland, on the West Highland way!” ”Ooh! Sounds awesome!” ”I wanna come, too!” ”Hi!” ”Count us in!” //
”So four hikers and hike leader.” ”Or four Hobbits and their Aragorn!” ”You can call me Aragorn from now on!” ”I’ll just write it down here.” ”How do we get to Scotland?” //
”We’re an environmental NGO, therefore we don’t fly.” ”An Interrail ticket might be just the ticket.” //
”Hey, I could go meet my friends in Britain and relatives in Austria while I’m at it.” //
”I’ll take a couple of months of train holiday! Europe, here I come!”

I went to see Mother and Big Brother before I left. ”So, you’re going the day after tomorrow?” ”Yep.” //
”How’s your packing going?” ”I haven’t even started yet.” //
”Kati couldn’t have packet yet, she has to pack everything on top.” ”This is not going to go away anytime soon…”

We took a ferry from Turku to Stockholm. //
”We’ll be travelling to Copenhagen in the first class of the train.” ”I see.” ”The tickets included an on-board breakfast.” ”I wonder what it’ll be like?” //
”And here you go.” ”Thank you.” ”A fascinating box.” //
”There’s yogurt in here!” ”And a tiny little bag of granola!” //
”A bread roll!” ”And cheese and lettuce!” //
”Cherry marmalade!” ”I’ve got apricot marmalade!” //
”A boiled egg!” ”Apple juice!” ”We should have made this into an unboxing video.” ”I go get tea.”

”We’re finally here.” ”That was a long way alright.” ”Now that’s an interesting clock.” //
”Yeah, it’s lacking the hands!” ”I guess it’s nothing o’clock then.” //
”Maybe we’ve died and entered the great beyond.” ”Perhaps.” //
”Remember the Valhalla mist we saw from the bridge in Denmark?” ”?” //
”This is it. That’s where we’ve ended up.” ”Ah, indeed.”

Jatkuu… // To be continued…

The Lord of the Rings by J.R.R. Tolkien

AUTUMN HIKE, PART 2/2

”It sure was windy and rainy last night.” ”The tent seems to have survived.” //
”Listen, fellows…” //
”…it wasn’t just raining last night.”

”Shall we continue?” ”Excuse me?” //
”Nothing, to Big Brother… I asked.” ”Okay.” //
”I mean, FROM Big Brother I asked. It’s so windy that I get prepositions mixed up!”

”There’s some sort of an orange cone in the hillside there.” ”What is it???” //
”Maybe it’s some kind of a weird tent?” ”Or some landmark?” ”A species of fungus new to science?” ”Could it be… an alien?” ”Or a spaceship?” ”Maybe it’s just a really big carrot?” //
What it actually is: A Kati wrapped inside a space blanket to shield herself from cold, wind and rain during a lunch break.

The first creek: ”Oh, what a beautiful creek!” //
”I want to immediately drink form it!” //
”I’ll take pictures!” //
”I love little fjeld creeks!” //
The 50th creek…

POCKETS OF EQUALITY

”I went to buy trousers for hiking.” //
”And now I’m angry.” //
”First off because on the women’s side the colors were yet AGAIN pink and purple. Men’s trousers had more natural colors.” //
Secondly: the side pockets in women’s trousers were made ”inside” the trousers, whereas men’s were outside: You can barely fit a phone here… but everything fits here! //
”And thirdly, the design itself. I have properly wide hips so you’d think that women’s trousers would be the right size for me and men’s trousers too slim.” //
But no. Women’s trousers are made to be ”well fitting” which means very slim and emphasizing the woman’s curves. //
I found a fitting pair from the men’s side. ”Because they are supposed to be a bit too big and comfortable. And you use a belt to tighten them so that they fit.” //
”I mean, seriously: every hiker needs trousers that are comfortable and that have good, big pockets. And one’s gender doesn’t tell if one wants to camouflage oneself in the moss or not. Equality to trousers!” //
I went to the hike wearing trousers I bought from the ”men’s side”.