LAST WORDS
”You ready?” ”I hope so…” //
”Here we go!” //
”This is a bad idea!” ”This is a BRILLIANT idea!” //
”And if we die now, those were my magnificent last words!” //
”No they weren’t, you spoke after them.” ”!” //
”This was a BRILLIANT idea!” ”Good! Now shut up and concentrate on steering!”
MOSQUITOES
”Damn, mosquitoes!” //
”And I don’t have a mosquito net. What would MacGyver do?” //
”Well, he’d of course take out the duct tape roll he’d brought along…” //
”…rip off some pieces with which he’d tape…” //
”…the hammock into a ’pea pod’ where mosquitoes won’t bother him.” //
”Hah. This actually works.” ”Darn.” //
This method is 100% MacGyver approved!
Eli ”Se suojaa varmaan hyvin myös hyttysiltä”
A.k.a ”I guess it’s pretty good against mosquitoes, too”
”I’d want a Clone Trooper armor.” //
”So that you could paint it in some cool way?” ”No, but to actually use it.” //
”You see, Clone Troopers wear the same armor on almost any planet. Only when it’s really, really cold the clones have some special gear. But they can even go to space in that armor!” //
”And since the armor itself probably isn’t that warm, the clones must have the best underwear in the galaxy!” ”Well… that is true!” //
”And I mean, I want the whole armor because it would be so handy on camps.” //
”Welcome to the camp. I’m Kati, your camp leader.”
The title of this post is a quote from The Clone Wars episode ”Rookies” where Captain Rex introduces himself to Hevy, Fives, and Echo by saying, ”The name’s Rex but you’ll call me Captain or Sir”. Later on at least Echo calls him just Rex.
Star Wars created by George Lucas
HOW TO MELT KATI
”So you’ll be cooking for us in that happening?” ”Yeah.” //
”I want to food to be as good as Kati makes.” ”Who do you think I learned this stuff from?” //
”You guys are so cute that I cry!”
BE PREPARED
On a trip with students: ”This weather is terrible!” ”Indeed!” //
”I wish I’d taken extra gloves with me!” ”Oh, me too.” ”I don’t want to rub this into anyone’s face, but…” //
”…I did.”
”How about organizing a trip to listen to owls and watch stars in the early spring?” ”Yes!” ”Sounds good.” ”Great idea!” //
”Would you, Romeo, want to organize this with me?” ”Okay, suits me.” //
”How about me taking the owls and you taking the stars?” ”Sounds good.” //
”But if this is a trip to see owls and stars, wouldn’t it be like… Owl and Star Trek?” //
”Is this what you were thinking?” //
”Yeah, exactly.” ”I love it!”
”Yikes, this slope is all frozen!” //
”Hehehehehehheeeeehheehehe!!!” //
”Let’s turn our lights off for a while and try to listen to owls.” ”Okay!” //
… //
”Well there ain’t much to be heard here.” //
”That there is Leo…” ”Nice.” ”Wow, the Moon looks awesome through the telescope!” ”Doesn’t it!”
Star Trek created by Gene Roddenberry
”I organized a winter camping trip after New Year. There were eight of us crazy people on that trip. This time the destination was Salla.” We went there! //
”Did you order a minibus taxi?” ”With this amount of stuff I sure did.” //
”That is definitely not a minibus.” ”Oh for #@*%!!!” //
”If we miss our train now our trip will end before it started!” //
”Hey, I got us a minibus taxi from another taxi company!” //
”Phew, luckily we made it here in time.” ”I’m gonna send some feedback to a couple of taxi companies now…”
Sock / Pants / Leg warmers / Trousers and shoes / Second layer of trousers / Swiss Army leg warmers //
”Now my legs won’t be cold!” ”But we toes are absolutely freezing…”
”My toes are so freezing.” //
”And I don’t have another pair of socks here in the tent.” //
”Hey! I do have my woolen leg warmers here.” //
If I tie the hems… I can put them in my feet upside down and use them as socks! //
”Much better!” This method is 100% MacGyver approved!
”Ahh. The silence of the wilderness.” //
”Wouwouwouwouwouwouwouwou…” //
Saw saw saw saw… //
Wroooom! //
Tlack! //
”Katiiii! When are we going?” //
”…”
”Hmph. A wood-chopping stand this low is totally useless.” //
”But I don’t have to settle on it…” //
”Ha! This works!” This method is 100% MacGyver approved!
”…did you just take a picture by poking your phone with your nose?” //
”Of course not. There is a physical button for taking a picture.” //
”However… I do change the settings with my nose.”
”Guys. We have a little problem with the toilet.” //
”It hasn’t been emptied in ages so we are soon facing the danger of a so-called butt-touch.” //
”We can use the toilet on the other side of the pond.” ”True. But it’s pretty far away.” //
”Or we can take this stick to the toilet. And after doing their business everyone can use the stick to move their business to the side to prevent a mountain from forming.” //
”That is also true.” ”It’d probably work.” //
This method is 100% MacGyver approved! ”Why do your readers need to know this?” ”Because it works!” ”It’s also literally a shit innovation.”
”Hey Temmi, could you sweep the tent heater please?” ”Sure thing!” //
… //
”What?” //
”I’m trying to give you a thumbs-up but it really doesn’t work with these mittens!”
”Washing your hands in snow-covered woods isn’t easy. But it would be really nice to wash your hands every now and then.” //
”You can make your own hand-washing ”tap” using drinking water…” //
”…but don’t swallow it!” //
”Ta-dah!” //
This method is 90% MacGyver approved! ”What, only 90%?” ”Well it works but, I mean, it is a bit disgusting.”
”Here you are.” ”Eek! Put off your light, please!” //
”Okay.” //
”It’s nice to be in the dark.” ”Yes, it is.” //
Flash! //
”Aaaah!” ”Who the devil invented ski track lights?!” //
”Run! Escape!” ”Yes! Back to the darkness of the forest!”
”I’m terribly thirsty! And I don’t have a water bottle in the tent!” //
”Wait a minute. I’m surrounded by millions of liters of water!” /
”Nomnomnom, good snow!” //
”Oh no! I am not MacGyver approving this!”
”Some people ask me why I do this. Go to the woods, I mean. I think it’s a good question.” //
”Because it’s sometimes quite terrible to be at nature’s mercy. You’re cold and hungry and tired and pissed.” //
”And sometimes there are stars, northern lights, sunsets and Siberian jays. On the other hand, though…” //
In the city your life depends too much on whether or not some bureau stamps your document or not. //
In the wilderness you can do something yourself to the fact that you’re cold. You need no stamps – just get up and do it! //
”Yes. Problems are tangible and you can decide how to solve them. Of course you can choose to stay crying in the snow…” //
…or you can choose to make pizza in the tent, like Julia’s Big Brother did. I mean, that was pretty awesome.
”Kujkujkuj!” ”Hello to you too, friend!”
”I haven’t washed my hair in a week and I’ve been wearing a beanie all that time.” //
”Much better!”
Mainintana: tämä on toistaiseksi pisin sarjispostaukseni! Tavaraahan tässä olisi ollut useampaankin postaukseen, mutta menköön nyt näin.
Note: this is my longest comic post so far! Here’s obviously enough stuff for more than one post but let’s go with just one now.
MacGyver created by Lee David Zlotoff
STATE-OWNED STORE
”I don’t know how to go to a grocery store anymore. Seriously. If I want to buy, say, potatoes…” //
”…there’s, like, 20 different types of potatoes for different uses, and I don’t know how to choose. And bread is even worse!” //
”For real, there could be a sort of state-owned store. So when you’d want potatoes, there’d be one type.” //
”And one sort of bread and everything else, too. It wouldn’t be so hard to choose.” //
”Or — they could just give everyone the same stuff so you wouldn’t have to think about it yourself.” //
”Food ration cards back to use! Bring the good old times back!!!” ”Indeed.” ”Agreed.” ”Yes yes.”
(Sorry, this one doesn’t translate.)
PORKKALA 3: MORNING TEA
”Morning. Did you make breakfast already?” ”I did. And – ” //
” – I made you some tea water.” ”Awesome!” //
”Though I’ll go to the toilet first so that I can enjoy the tea… uh… wholeheartedly?” //
”Or maybe emptybladderedly?” ”This.”