SLAVES TO THE ALGORITHM
”That’s cute. A young couple has come to the zoo on their date.” //
”Oh. They’re just on their phones.” //
”Do they even see the animals? Or each other?” //
”They’re not really even here. Or even together.”
A WATCHING EYE
I was cleaning up a little at work today when… //
”…well, this Jimmy-Joe. Well, he just came to stand right next to me.” //
”Clearly just to check if I had swept well enough.” ”…” //
”Jimmy-Joe just wouldn’t let me leave. Some customers saw this and thought it was really funny.” ”Terrible behavior! I hope you told your boss!” ”I didn’t.” //
Jimmy-Joe is a wallaby.
REMEMBER SAFETY FACTORS
”Next, a couple of words of safety at work.” //
”Safety at work is an important and everyday part of everything we do in here.” //
”Both physical and mental safety has to be taken into account.” //
”Avoiding fatigue is also a big part of work safety…” ”Z”
IS THIS WHY I STUDIED SO HARD?
”Hey where’s the closest restroom?” ”There in the picnic area.” //
”Hey what time is it?” ”Half past twelve.” //
”Hey where are the kangaroos?” ”Over there to the left.” //
”Hey where can I smoke?” ”Behind that kiosk.” //
”Hey! Hey, guide!” ”Yes?” //
”I read from that info sign over there that the European bison would have gone extinct without zoos.” ”…” //
”So I was wondering if you could tell me more about it?” ”YES I CAN!!!”
CHILD OF THESEUS
”Oh, some kid’s sunglasses. I’ll take them to the lost and found.” //
”A child’s hat.” //
”Some toddler’s shirt.” //
”A shoe?” //
”Someone has lost their trousers.” //
”A sock, too.” //
”Hehe. I could combine a whole child out of all the things people lose here.”
Ai kuka Theseus? Wikipedia sivistää sinua täällä.
Who’s Theseus? Wikipedia will tell you here.
YOUR BOSS WANTS TO TALK WITH YOU
”Hi, Boss.” ”Hello, Kati. Hey, there are some things I need to talk with you about.” //
”A little later, though. I’ve got a meeting now, but in the afternoon.” ”Yes, that’s okay. I’ve got nothing then.” //
”I wonder what the Boss wants to talk about?” //
”Has a customer given some feedback? has one of the summer guides messed up somehow? Have I messed up?” //
”Maybe there’s something wrong with the work time logs?” //
”Or something in the program doesn’t work?” //
”What if I’ll be FIRED?” //
”Hi Kati!” ”Oh, hi, Boss…” ”So, about that tour on Thursday. Can you organize it?” //
”Yes, I’ve got it.” ”Good. What about those loudspeakers?” ”We already got them back from maintenance.” //
”Excellent! That’s all that I had. See you!” ”Bye.” //
”Is this why I was all stressed out all afternoon?!?”
THE RIGHT DIRECTION
”Where are we going now?” ”Right from here.” //
”Yaaaaaayyy!!!” //
”The OTHER right!” //
”Yaaaaaayyyy!!!”
RESPECT MY BREAK
”Finally, lunch break!” //
”Hi Kati! Hey, I needed to talk to you about that audio system.” //
”Or… would you like to eat alone?” //
”Alright, let’s talk about this later! It can wait, no problem!”
A MOMENT OF EMBARRASSMENT, PART 2
Vastauksena Kyyemon kommenttiin edelliseen artikkeliin.
As a response to Mother Viper’s comment on the last post.
”Oh no, I totally embarrassed myself! I wish I could disappear!” //
”?!” Rrruumbble!!! //
”Aaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!” Glomp! //
”What — ?” ”You wanted to disappear.” //
”Thanks, Ground, you’re the best.” ”No problem.”
A MOMENT OF EMBARRASSMENT
”Excuse me, where are the camels?” //
”Just take a left from here and then down the hill. You can’t possibly not miss them.” ”Thanks!” //
”What did I just say? ’You can’t possibly not miss them’?? It should be, ’You can’t possibly not notice them’ or ’you can’t possibly miss them’! So embarrassing!” //
”Where’s the closest basement I can hide in? I’m so ashamed!”